Mister Rogers v. Despotism
Don't count on SCOTUS to deliver Trump's comeuppance.
How can he be stopped?
There is only one answer, and it is not impeachment. The Wicked Witch’s guards in Congress, the ones with the red ties instead of furry Beefeater hats, wouldn’t vote against him if he suspended the Emancipation Proclamation. On the contrary, they’d chant “Oh-Ee-Yah! Ee-Oh-Ah!” and hold hearings on fluoride.
The lunatic asylum of a cabinet will never invoke the 25th amendment; if Trump declares war on NATO and makes the Proud Boys a domestic Ranger Battalion, the Secretaries of Stupid will rise as one in ovation and call him Jesu, King of Kings. And the Department of Justice certainly won’t intervene. Were he to abduct Miss America contestants and keep them as a harem, it would immediately start an investigation into the Jackson 5 crime family.
As for the 2026 midterm elections restoring Democratic majorities to both houses of Congress, what makes you think there will be 2026 elections? Don’t you know we are under attack from Soros-funded globalists in yarmulkes who are brandishing dogeared copies of The Communist Manifesto??
No, our hope as a functioning democracy hinges entirely on the courts. Already, federal judges are pausing enforcement of several unconstitutional decrees, from deportations to the wholesale dismantling of agencies to mass firings. To which MAGA replies: “Hahahaha! We do not acknowledge the authority of radical left thugs and their judicial overreach. We’re not complying with you terrorists. See you at the Supreme Court!”
That would be the Trump-packed, ideologically lopsided, precedent shredding, executive-power fetishizing Supreme Court. Let’s say a Trump case came before them. The vote would begin with Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Alito finding in favor of MAGA — before they even open the envelope. Sotomayor, Jackson and Kagan would vote ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?? NO!!! That means the difference between democracy and dictatorship is two justices:
Amy Coney Barrett and Chief Justice John Roberts.
OK, let’s just imagine — and this does require a vivid imagination — that Barrett has gradually become a moderate (i.e., non-Nazi) and is steaming about the death threats against her from the teeming MAGA morons for refusing to vote with Trump after he illegally tried to stiff foreign-aid recipients for payments already approved and budgeted. For this she was branded a traitor. So let’s say she’s had it up to here with the MAGA brownshirts and decides to uphold the constitution, come what may. This leaves only Roberts.
You know — smiley, avuncular, dull, mild, dignified, conscientious, reasonable Roberts. Whereas Alito and Thomas are cartoon reactionary villains seething with evil and rage, he’s basically Mister Rogers in a black robe. He could be your civics teacher, or your pastor, or the nice fellow at the hardware store who explains that you need an Imperial hex wrench, not a metric one.
Yeah. Except, there are no civics teachers anymore. Or hardware stores, for that matter. Mister Rogers is dead and your pastor is caught up in an adultery scandal. Let’s face reality. Roberts has been in the majority in, and often the author of, some of the most bizarre and reckless decisions in Supreme Court history. Reasonable? He’s been a wrecking ball to bedrock American values, civil and human rights and the most basic notion of common sense.
District of Columbia v. Heller (2008): This decision interpreted the 2nd Amendment to sanction gun ownership not just for “a well-regulated militia” but any individual. When the Heller decision came down, there were 10,400 gun deaths per 100,000 U.S. population. Today, there are 15,200, a 46% increase.
Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. (2014): This case permitted private businesses exemption from federal laws that conflict with their religious beliefs.
Kennedy v. Bremerton School District (2022): Another church-and-state case finding for a high-school football coach who led an on-field Christian prayer before a game.
Shelby County v. Holder (2013): This decision gutted the Voting Rights Act, which provided that states with histories of systematic racist voting-rights activity obtain federal clearance for any law or regulation that would make voting difficult for minorities. Since then, red states, mainly in the South, have imposed restrictions requiring a photo ID and limiting mail-in voting that together have suppressed minority election participation throughout the former Confederacy.
I’m just getting started. Those are cases in which Roberts voted with the rightwing majority. Here are two for which he wrote concurring opinions, including what was probably the most bizarre and irrational decision in US history. This one:
Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (2010): In striking down any federal limits on campaign contributions by corporations, or even tracing sources, the Court ruled that campaign donors were exercising free expression as protected by the 1st Amendment. For the purposes of political campaigns, a corporation is a “person” and money is “speech.” And corruption is the law of the land.
Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (2022): In this concurring opinion, Roberts expressed shock, shock that his reactionary colleagues were prepared to overturn the whole of federally protected abortion rights under Roe v. Wade, but he signed off on returning these questions to the state — whereupon red states immediately passed restrictive laws criminalizing abortions for the patient and practitioner. The Handmaid’s Tale has ceased to be fiction.
Disheartened at all? Are you feeling some of the hope leak from your body, like the Big Macs in Trump’s digestive tract? Here are three cases for which Roberts authored the majority opinion.
Rucho v. Common Cause (2019): Republicans, with the help of bottomless funding from corporations and rightwing billionaires, have elected conservative governors and legislative supermajorities, who have in turn jury-rigged legislative maps to insure Republican dominance in Congressional seats. This has resulted in an ideological distortion in Congress and something close to a permanent GOP majority — or, at least, the power to block Democratic legislation. Roberts’ decision held that such manipulation is unfortunate, but gerrymandering is a matter for the states. I guess federal laws against kidnapping are next.
West Virginia v. Environmental Protection Agency (2022): In another utterly nonsensical decision of his authorship, he wrote that the Clean Air Act does not give the EPA broad authority to limit carbon emissions from power plants. Just read that outloud and try not to have your head explode.
And then, finally, two decisions that should make you start looking for a new country, where reason and logic, freedom and rule of law still matter. Spain and Portugal are getting filled up, but, if you want the corollary advantage of cheap real estate, Yemen and Belarus are looking better and better.
Trump v. Hawaii (2018): This upheld Trump’s Muslim travel ban as within the president’s authority — no matter how arbitrary and blatantly bigoted.
Trump v. United States (2024): Which granted presidents virtual blanket immunity — which is to say, impunity — from any crimes that fall within the category of “official acts.” Unprosecutable and beyond Congress’s power to regulate. Apart from the get-out-of-jail-free card Roberts gifted Trump for the many federal crimes for which he was indicted, we are now seeing the harvest of that impunity every single day.
This is the chief justice you are counting on. Yeah, well, don’t wish your life away. Mister Rogers is dead and it’s life support for American democracy.