Bully Pulpit

Bully Pulpit

Turn the Page, February 2022

At the end of each month, Bob will share some observations about the world we inhabit, the times in which we live and the absurdity of the whole damn thing.

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Bob Garfield
Mar 01, 2022
∙ Paid
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Kids

I’m on the road, visiting my kids and grandkids, shuttling from one house to another.  With gas approaching $4/gallon, the trip was quite the investment, but so worth it. The other day I was role-playing with my four-year-old grandson, each of us grasping a plastic figurine whose thoughts we were channeling. He was a lava demon whose heart was dark, miserable and violent. I was a friendly demon who wished only to bring some light into the wretched life of my nemesis. “Our great land needs your powers,” I said, “and I pray you could feel in your heart one tiny fraction of the warmth you use to set our world on fire. Is there nothing that will give you the happiness you deserve?”

He considered this entreaty for a moment and replied: “Well, I like ice cream.”

At that moment, or approximately that moment, a Russian missile struck a Kiev apartment building. Missiles in fact rained on the country from north, south and east. Convoys of tanks thundered toward the capital. The lethally radioactive remnants of Chernobyl were captured, for who knows what reason. Civilians died, including children. As I write these words, cluster munitions are taking heavy casualties in Kharkiv, Ukraine’s second largest city. Parents, who might otherwise have been playing with their babies, huddled with them in shelters, trembling over the destruction of their society and the precarity of their lives. The price of gasoline does not concern them.

***

The Magic of Titles

You know what tends to be catchy? Titles. I mean, you’re browsing Netflix or whatever, and what catches your eye? Maybe 21 Jump Street. It grabs you. It’s an address, like 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue or 9144 Falls Vista Terrace, but more mysterious and provocative. “21” is the age of majority and a winning blackjack hand, while “Jump” suggests perhaps jumping, which can be very exciting in its own right. And “Street,” well, the possibilities there are endless. I’m going to choose that flick, definitely.

Or how about the New York Times Best Sellers list:

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